Learnt Advanced Medical Directive in school but didn't realised its importance until today....
Was asked by a Doctor to help translate for him.. Got to break the news to a terminally ill patient. (cos I'm the only Mandarin and Hokkien speaking on that shift)
Uncle is very ill and need to decide what options to choose. (in case he can't make decisions by then it is too late)
(1) Spared from suffering and let him go peacefully.
(2) Extraordinary life-sustaining treatment to prolong his life.
Spend talking for about 1 hour... Can you imagine? Asking him how he wishes to die? He wants to know how long he has to live.. and he keeps wanting to die at home. How long he has, no one knows... Maybe later, maybe few months, or he may even recover as a response to the medications.. And he can't go home... If the oxygen and the drug is discontinued, his condition will deterioate definitely.
I find myself very lousy in Hokkien thus I am worried that he don't understand what I am saying.. So I keep on reinforcing the important words to him.. By then, I started weeping but still got to brave a strong front to him.. Luckily my mask concealed most of my sorrow..
Uncle didn't cry but when I place my hands near his frail chest wall to comfort him, his heart palpitated. So sad lor!!
He asked me to call his sister to visit him.. I'm so glad.. An excuse to go out.. The moment I am out, I burst into tears and couldn't stop!! Dr told me I did a good job.. Though he cannot understand, he knows I'm trying hard.. putting effort. So many of my fellow colleagues comfort me too!! Sister Lai told me she helped Doctors explained AMD for few times. It is hard everytime she did that! So at least I feel human!
After calling his sister to visit him, I went in again for his decision... If he choose the 1st one, he had to sign th AMD form to declare he doesn't wants intubation..
When he sign, I cried again.. Felt guilty, worried and scared. If he mis-interpret me how? Then I will be gulit stricken for life..
I asked him few times if he understand me then can sign.. he knew completely what I told him.
He signed for it.. I stayed with him for a while..
Then he said he wanted to sleep... I left him alone..
I continued to be depressed...
Hope he gets well.. I'm sure he will..
This entry was supposed to post on real time.. I was in dilemma...
To post or not to..
Happy moments are supposed to be remembered..
For this incident, it is my first experience.. Wanted to share this to my beloved companions.
What I had learnt:
"Treasure those people close to you and spend quality time with them... Don't wait till then it's too late, you start to regret..."
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